"No reading at the breakfast table"

It has taken me a while to write this final chapter in my thinking about encouragement because I've realised that it is complicated trying to work out what practical encouragement looks like for different people. So here are three little principles I think are useful when we think about how we're going to encourage one another as Christians. 1.  It needs to be about Jesus.  The core purpose of encouragement is that it exists to help us keep trusting in the truth of the good news of Jesus.  It reminds us that we are part of God's family - we are not alone.  We encourage one another by pointing each other back to the truth ('speaking the TRUTH in love'). 2.  It needs to NOT be about me.  Sometimes I see women (myself included) involved in the act of encouragement because it makes us feel more connected to someone else.  As we cook a meal we are thinking less of service and more about strengthening a relationship.  Which is all nice - but wh...

An illustration that has stuck in my head over the years is from Larry Crabb's helpful book 'Encouragement'.  He tells the story of being trackside when his son is in the final stage of a long track race.  When he saw his son rounding the final corner he didn't just quietly stand there watching his son working hard and struggling to finish well. He started yelling, cheering him on, urging him to keep going.  And his son responded.  He heard his voice, lifting him to run fast to the end of the race. The Bible speaks of us being in a race, a race to the very end.  I don't know about you, but this race can feel very hard at times.  How often do we doubt God's goodness in the midst of suffering?  How often do we struggle to believe that God really has a plan for our life?  How often do we wonder if it all has a point or not?  How often do we feel tired by striving to live in a way that pleases God?  How often do we think that living life i...

So back to my friend from youth group.  We were about 16 at the time and I was really struggling with terribly low self esteem.  Her cries of 'You're the best Jenny' were a genuine attempt to encourage and cheer me up.  But they didn't help.  In my heart I just didn't feel 'the best'.  Because you know what?  I wasn't the 'best'.  I was a fallen, sinful human who deeply felt the weight of her failings. For many years I struggled with this and it wasn't until my late teens that I changed.  What changed me was that I recognised that if God (the all powerful, perfect God), loved and valued me enough to send Jesus for ME, then who I was to continue to place such a low value on myself?  It truly changed my perspective on my place and purpose in the world. What I'd really needed at that time was someone to point this out to me.  To keep reminding me of what was truly important. And I think this is where we can get encourageme...

I've been working on a talk for a church women's group on the topic of encouragement.   I thought I'd share some of my thinking about this topic with you.  And if you, say, live somewhere warm and would like me to do it in person, feel free to invite me.  I'm cold! Encouragement is one of those topics that can become a bit ho hum.  Well, maybe that's just me.  When I was in youth group, another girl declared that she had the gift of encouragement.  This was quite annoying because what she thought was encouraging wasn't actually  encouraging for me.  Little notes on flowery paper of smultchy blah, blah with a token Bible verse felt empty to me.  Hugs with cries of 'You're the best Jenny!', just irritated me.  Consequently I thought that encouragement wasn't something I either needed or felt I needed to give.  It just seemed dumb to me. This sort of thing makes me a bit queasy But I've discovered that it actually is for me ...