Fostering kids
Earlier this year I was chatting to a friend who asked me "Should we all be adopting or fostering? What do you think about all this? I think there's a blog post in this topic Jenny!" So here I am - prompted by these two coincidences. We also have good friends who in the last stages of an overseas adoption (which is very exciting to share with them).
Personally I think fostering is something we should all at least stop and consider. Especially if we're in a stable relationship, functional family, educated, financially secure. I'm not saying that means we will all end up doing it - just considering it properly.
The Bible does have some pretty blunt verses about how we need to care for orphans. And while children who are fostered are not orphans, they wouldn't have any responsible parent-type figure in their lives if they aren't cared for by someone other than their birth family.
James 1:27 Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.
Isaiah 1:17 Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed. Defend the cause of orphans. Fight for the rights of widows.
Proverbs 31:8-9 Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensure justice for those being crushed. Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless, and see that they get justice.
I have often wondered if fostering became a norm in our church communities - so that Sunday School could cope with some extra kids on weekend respite, so that I had friends who I could share the experience with (much the same way that having other mums with small kids around is invaluable when you're a first-time mum) - then maybe it wouldn't feel so daunting. If a significant number of people in each church across Australia committed themselves to fostering, we could make a massive social impact.
I'm not saying this is for everyone (please, please don't get the guilts) - I'm not even sure it's for us. We have a lot of children and a small house. Being honest - the unknown is scary (especially when it comes to your own household). But maybe it's something for the future. When some of our older kids move out.
I'd love to hear other's thinking on this. I'm very much a beginner in my thoughts on this topic.
Btw - if you're interested in investigating fostering further, here's a link to a brochure produced by Anglicare, just giving an overview of the process and answers to some FAQs.
Comments
I currently live in London. At the moment, Christians are being forced out of fostering as the courts seem to think that Biblical Christian views are incompatible with raising children.
BBC take:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-derbyshire-12598896
Christian website take:
http://www.christiantoday.co.uk/article/high.court.upholds.bar.on.christian.foster.carers.over.homosexuality.views/27592.htm
My husband and I had been thinking about this in the future (mostly due to his office manager at work being a foster carer for some very young children) but we're now not sure that we'd be seen as appropriate. Interesting times.
Erin
I agree Jenny, something Christians should consider, and support each other in doing. I go to a pretty big Church in NW Sydney, and there is not one family who foster kids as far as I know. We have talked about it for years, but have done nothing about it...
From conversations with them about it, it sounds like dealing with the government department involved and its caseworkers isn't much fun. The other thing is that these kids have generally had pretty rough environments in their younger years, which often leaves them with lots of learning difficulties and behaviour issues as an ongoing legacy. They need probably more patience and perseverance than the "average" child. My brother in law teaches in a special school so this is something he has professional expertise in as well....
It is something Matt and I have discussed and something we both would like to do in the future. Just need some more space in our house!
It's something a bit close to my heart as my Mum was in an Catholic orphanage for 13 years (from the age of 10mths). She finally was fostered out at age 14. Her mother never visited her but banned anyone else from adopting her (grrr).
At the moment, our house is only 2 bedrooms, and I believe (could be wrong!) that if you are going to foster, even temporarily, you have to have a separate bedroom for the child?
I have a friend that bought a 5 bedroom house for that exact reason. She already has one foster daughter, one biological son and is in the process of taking in more. She's an inspiration!
Liz
if you ask Mum why she thinks she turned out so well, (despite her very difficult childhood), she attributes it to her constant faith in God throughout her whole life. :)
I think fostering and adopting are two very different things and are best not considered together. You get to keep kids that you adopt.
we fostered an almost 2 year old boy years ago when our only child was 18 mths old. It was very tough for the first month but then he settled in and became one of the family for the 7 months he was with us. I do think everyone should foster at least, but only if their situation is stable and if their children are totally convicted too (then they won't resent the hard times).
My children (I now have 5 of my own) love the idea of bringing a non-believing child into the care and protection of a christian family and introducing him/her to Jesus. Like my 10 year old said once, "It's just like what God does for us!".