Friday, December 2, 2011
What I'm learning about having a teenager ...
1. They are often grumpy
2. They are often tired
3. They are often unpleasant because of (1) and (2)
4. They are often unpleasant to every single member of the family (good to share the 'love' around)
5. You can't suggest anything
6. Every request by a parent must be responded to with either a sigh or an eye roll.
7. The parent is 'completely outrageous' and has 'utterly misunderstood' their response by quietly suggesting that they are being rude.
8. They are, of course, quite ancient and often make shattering, dismissive comments to younger siblings along the lines of, 'yes, when I was younger, I thought that too but now I've grown up, (*parent quietly choking in the background*) I've found that not to be the case'.
9. The parents are learning some kind of higher art of internal, circular breathing. It was first learnt during the 'tantrum in the Target queue' years, but it needs to be refined. It is necessary so that point (7) doesn't become a yelling match. It also allows the parent to quietly pass out in the corner, which is of course the teenager's preferred location for the parent.
10. All items that are lost on the trip between school and home are, without question, somehow, a parent's fault. The lost shoe ('But I told you I had a hole in my school bag!', cries the teenager. 'A shoe-sized hole? I don't think that was quite mentioned my dearest', the mother replies.)
Just a season ... I keep saying this over and over (although in our case it might be a long season).