The journey to 5
And of course it is great. But along the way, we had a few hiccups. Not many. And nothing like what a lot of my friends have been through. I had a miscarriage at 7 weeks between our first and second child. We also had a miscarriage at 14 weeks (just after we'd told everyone we were expecting another baby) between our third and fourth children. Both times I had to have a general and a curette to stop the bleeding, which were both unpleasant experiences. Not just physically but emotionally devastating.
I was very upset when we had the first miscarriage. I didn't know at that stage that I wanted to have five children, but I did know that I wanted to have at least two. Having moved around a lot as a child, and knowing that we were probably going to do the same, I wanted my son to have a sibling to share those experiences with. My sister and three close friends were also due with babies at the same time I was due and this was tough. I felt left out and left behind. How crazy it is to look at that now. Our kids are only a few months different in age, but at the time it compounded my grief.
The second miscarriage was hard because our eldest child was old enough to understand that I was pregnant and then old enough to understand that we'd had a baby that hadn't lived. I'd also endured the 12 weeks of horrible morning sickness because I had made it to 14 weeks. I remember just feeling exhausted in the middle of the sadness. How I backed up again a few months to try again is amazing to me.
I just share these little stories for those of you who are struggling with miscarriage or other fertility issues. I can't pretend to understand long-term infertility. But sometimes it can be helpful to know that despite appearances, it wasn't all smooth sailing.