Back to work?
You'll be relieved to know that I ran out of puff on my previous topic. So onto new things (I'm easily distracted!).
I spent four days last week visiting libraries around Sydney CBD as part of my library Masters. I decided after spending a day at Sydney Uni library that I would be quite happy to get a job there.
For me personally, it highlighted some of the challenges of me, the Mum, not being around to co-ordinate the organisation that is 'Family Kemp'. Rowan did a fantastic job keeping the show on the road, working at home around all the drop-offs and pick-ups.
I found it really energising and stimulating being out of the house and doing something totally different to normal. I thought I would be more tired. But not having to deal with the constancy of managing small people who are often difficult or grumpy was a lovely relief. I realised that in a normal day I have to internalise lots of anger in order to remain patient and calm on the exterior. (I find that quite draining).
I found the idea of working part-time quite appealing after this week. I've been at home for over 11 years now and have no regrets about staying at home. I'm just struggling with the tension between what I'd like to do and what is best for our family. Is it selfish for me to want to something different when I know that it is going to mean some big adjustments for my family?