Some more thoughts on this topic.
I feel strongly about this topic because after having 5 kids over 9 years we've certainly had our ups and downs. And I know lots and lots of new mums struggle for years with the issue. For me personally, a lot of the time I really didn't feel like sex because of hormones, depression and sheer exhaustion. For other women, coping with breastfeeding issues, a sick baby or physical pain as a result of a bad birth all contribute to making this a challenging time.
We learnt lots by going through the cycle a few times. A pattern emerged over time. The season does pass as I get more sleep and stop breast feeding as much. I embraced the idea of a 'quickie' simply because it was nice for Rowan and was usually better than I anticipated. We talked about the issue lots in the slower patches so that we were at least communicating about how we were feeling.
I think husbands need to know how difficult sex is for lots of women after having children. It would be lovely to see some teaching for men about how to be patient and love their wives well during these slower times. If men are kind and understanding the long term outcome for their sex life is very bright.
End of today's rant - I have a couple more things to say on this topic so stay posted!