I've been thinking about energy levels a lot recently. I would like to have more energy so I could achieve more. I want to be a person who gets lots done.
However, I've realised that from the outside other people probably do think I get lots done. It's all about my own expectations and the game of 'Comparison' which I'm so fond of playing. 'Comparison' is a game many women play. I play it with people who seem to be able to fit more into their days than me. The limitations of my personality frustrate me.
But that's what it's all about. My own personality. One of the things I do like about getting older is that I've had the opportunity to try different things and different ways of using my time. It means that I'm starting to get a better picture of what 'works' for me in terms of managing the limitations of my energy levels.
What I've learnt is that I can't just keep going and going. In fact, I need to pace myself quite carefully so that I can regenerate. Without the regeneration comes 'snappy Mum' and 'grumpy wife' and 'impatient friend'.
But the challenge that remains for me is how to be generous with my time even when I'm feeling stretched. How do I remain calm with the kids when I want to hide? How do I keep being friendly and interested in others when I'm drained?
I guess it's all about that whole 'putting others needs before your own' business! Such a challenge for me but ultimately always better than focusing on myself.