Date nights

-

Recently I wrote a post referring to some ideas from John Gottman's book about marriage. One of the suggestions was to have a weekly date.

Rowan and I have a weekly date. It sounds terribly organised doesn't it? It's actually something that we've done for most of our married life but now we can give it fancy title!

Most nights of the week we eat with the kids - as you might imagine it is not the most romantic event! Great for our family life though.

One night on the weekends the kids have a 'movie' night (dinner in front of a DVD) and we have dinner later without the kids. We usually order Pakistani takeaway (very, very hot - yay!) and watch something on TV together that we both enjoy. (at the moment we're watching taped episodes of 'The Wire').

Exciting stuff hey?! Well, it's exciting for us to just have some time each week where we can hang out and do something together we both find relaxing. We both look forward to it all week.

I reckon the whole weekly date thing works best when you can work out something to do that is easy, is something you both enjoy and helps you connect with each other. If you'd like to do it but think "oh, we can't because of the kids", then let me encourage you to give it a go. If we in our chaos can work something out, I'm sure you can do it too.

I don't want us to get to the end of the kid stage in twenty years time and say "hello - and who are you?".


Comments

Jo said…
I am sitting here smiling at God's timing. I was just saying at my ladies group last night that dh and I are trying to get a date night organised, and here is your post all about it.
I am inspired now to make sure it happens and we get a chance to sit down and connect each week. Thanks.
September 22, 2009 at 8:33 AM
Pip said…
How refreshing to read that you sit at home for your date night - something that is actually achievable with young kids! Others have spoken/written about getting out without the kids which just made me feel jealous.
P.S Horray it seems I can now comment : )
September 23, 2009 at 10:50 AM
Jenny said…
Yay - welcome!!

Going out is always stressful for us. Our No 2 child gets quite upset about us going out so we tend to only do it if we really have to.

I have other friends who feel that the only way they can really relax is by being out of the house, which is completely understandable.

I just think it's a shame to end up doing nothing because baby sitting is too hard or we have a particular idea about what counts as a 'date'.
September 23, 2009 at 11:11 AM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Confessions of an earl grey addict

-
Image
I have to confess in this public forum that I'm addicted to earl grey tea. I used to like the expensive stuff (Twinings) but because I drink so much of it, over the years I've had to buy the home brand version because I couldn't afford to sustain my habit. On Monday mornings I'd go to playgroup and have a cup of tea.  But one wasn't enough.  I'd have to go back for another. I'd visit a friend and enjoy the first cuppa.  But start to wonder if it too rude to ask for another, an hour into our visit. I don't have milk or sugar with it.  That just wrecks the purity of the experience.  I would branch out sometimes and enjoy Lady Grey or French Earl Grey for a treat.  But for everyday purposes my friend was the 'Earl'. But two weeks ago I went cold turkey.  I just decided that it was time to break the habit.  I have entered the world of herbal teas with all its strange flavours.  Peppermint (toothpaste dissolved in hot water).  Camom...
Read more

Going grey at 40

-
Image
I have written about this before , but after broaching the subject on facebook a few weeks ago I've been thinking a lot about the whole colouring your hair deal.  On facebook I asked when having natural coloured hair was going to become trendy like other old fashioned things like quilting and growing your veges?  I am quite tired of how time consuming colouring my hair is and how expensive it is. A very interesting conversation resulted with a huge variety of opinions.  Many of the women said they would be going natural, but of course they aren't gray now (and are my age) so I don't think that really counts.  Until you ACTUALLY start going seriously gray/white you can't see how it impacts on the way you look.  I think it is different to be almost white (like myself) at age 40 and agreeing in principle to going natural when it happens to you in the future (when you will be a lot older than I am now!). Just quietly, I'll believe it when I see it (let me thr...
Read more

Why I won't home school (if I don't have to)

-
Image
Occasionally I get asked what I think about home schooling.  Let me say from the outset that I'm not against it at all.  I was actually homeschooled for Year 3 because I wasn't coping with the local Indian school and I wasn't old enough for boarding school.  I have lots of friends who do it - some out of necessity (eg. missionary friends in remote places with no options) or out of choice (because their child doesn't cope with the mainstream school system).   So I'm fine with the whole concept. I have great admiration for families that choose to provide that education for their kids.  It is hard work and a significant drain on time and emotional energy (usually for the mum).  I also think that it can be a great gift for children who would otherwise get lost in a conventional educational institution. But why wouldn't I do it?  Partly because I did homeschooling myself and found it quite lonely.  I missed the social interaction of school a...
Read more