Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Date nights


Recently I wrote a post referring to some ideas from John Gottman's book about marriage. One of the suggestions was to have a weekly date.

Rowan and I have a weekly date. It sounds terribly organised doesn't it? It's actually something that we've done for most of our married life but now we can give it fancy title!

Most nights of the week we eat with the kids - as you might imagine it is not the most romantic event! Great for our family life though.

One night on the weekends the kids have a 'movie' night (dinner in front of a DVD) and we have dinner later without the kids. We usually order Pakistani takeaway (very, very hot - yay!) and watch something on TV together that we both enjoy. (at the moment we're watching taped episodes of 'The Wire').

Exciting stuff hey?! Well, it's exciting for us to just have some time each week where we can hang out and do something together we both find relaxing. We both look forward to it all week.

I reckon the whole weekly date thing works best when you can work out something to do that is easy, is something you both enjoy and helps you connect with each other. If you'd like to do it but think "oh, we can't because of the kids", then let me encourage you to give it a go. If we in our chaos can work something out, I'm sure you can do it too.

I don't want us to get to the end of the kid stage in twenty years time and say "hello - and who are you?".


3 comments:

Jo said...

I am sitting here smiling at God's timing. I was just saying at my ladies group last night that dh and I are trying to get a date night organised, and here is your post all about it.
I am inspired now to make sure it happens and we get a chance to sit down and connect each week. Thanks.

Philippa said...

How refreshing to read that you sit at home for your date night - something that is actually achievable with young kids! Others have spoken/written about getting out without the kids which just made me feel jealous.
P.S Horray it seems I can now comment : )

Jenny Kemp said...

Yay - welcome!!

Going out is always stressful for us. Our No 2 child gets quite upset about us going out so we tend to only do it if we really have to.

I have other friends who feel that the only way they can really relax is by being out of the house, which is completely understandable.

I just think it's a shame to end up doing nothing because baby sitting is too hard or we have a particular idea about what counts as a 'date'.