Over scheduled kids or over scheduled mum?

-
Apologies to all my readers who are totally over my public processing of the start to a new school year!  Never fear - I will get back into the rhythm of life soon and will hopefully have other ideas in my head!

I realised today that I've become one of those mothers who carts children around to different activities all week.  I've become a soccer mum - without the soccer part.  I've always been wary of over scheduling my kids because I know they need time to hang out at home and just relax and play.

So I've been feeling bad about all that my kids are doing.  Until I suddenly thought about it and realised that individually they aren't doing heaps (enough, but not heaps).  However, when you start multiplying their activities by five children, it is me that has become over scheduled!  I am obsessed with how I'm going to fit it all into a day.  My brain can't seem to cope with thinking much past a day at a time.  Don't ask me about Thursday on Monday - I would not have a clue!  And certainly don't ask me on Sunday how my week was - that information has been long deleted to make room for the next lot of stuff.  Even on Monday morning, asking about my weekend can be a push!

Oh, and then I'm trying to study, be married, have some friends, go to church, do exercise, brush teeth, help at school and occasionally wash and sleep.  Is the answer to give up and just collapse at the feet of this schedule?  Give up on my personal hygiene?!  Just move into the Tarago?!

How did I get here?  And how big can my capacity get?  Only the next few years will tell ...

Comments

Peter Sholl said…
I feel the same way, and I've only got three. But I've realised (for good or for bad) that I'm content with having my sense of achievement closely (but not exclusively) wrapped up in my care of my kids. The weak part of my contentment is that getting them to events, putting the next meal on the table, taking them to the doctor and supporting their educational needs is not the sum total of what they need to be cared for well. I'm feeling like I'm too busy (with their activities) to do enough of the personal, relational nuturing that I think is necessary.

An ongoing struggle!

Sarah
February 19, 2010 at 5:11 AM
Jenny said…
Thanks for your honesty Sarah. It's true about needing to have room in our lives to be emotionally available too. I've realised that even just 20 minutes after dinner to just sit and hang out with the kids in the lounge room before they go to bed can make a big difference. Often it is by then that bits of information about their days come out.
February 19, 2010 at 9:36 AM
Unknown said…
I thank God for your refreshing honesty, my 4 kids have no extracirricular activities after dabbling last year & burning out.. I also can relate to focusing one day at a time & on brain dumping on previous days wow you make me feel so normal!!
April 23, 2010 at 4:48 PM
Jenny said…
Hey Simone - great to have you on board! Glad my ramblings (which is what they feel like to me!) are refreshing for you.
April 24, 2010 at 3:14 PM
Julie-anne said…
I haven't met you Jenny but love catching up with your husband at senior staff things. We have 4 kids but I quite like having lots of things on because each time I take 1 kid to something I get a 1 on 1 chance to catch up with them each day. They all have 5 activities each to get to each week. I also try and make it special as in each kid who has a sat 830 match we have McDonalds breakfast each time on the way (it means I get a coffee as well :)). I get there early for footy and we have a kick together (I'm getting pretty good now!!)
June 23, 2010 at 9:21 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Going grey at 40

-
Image
I have written about this before , but after broaching the subject on facebook a few weeks ago I've been thinking a lot about the whole colouring your hair deal.  On facebook I asked when having natural coloured hair was going to become trendy like other old fashioned things like quilting and growing your veges?  I am quite tired of how time consuming colouring my hair is and how expensive it is. A very interesting conversation resulted with a huge variety of opinions.  Many of the women said they would be going natural, but of course they aren't gray now (and are my age) so I don't think that really counts.  Until you ACTUALLY start going seriously gray/white you can't see how it impacts on the way you look.  I think it is different to be almost white (like myself) at age 40 and agreeing in principle to going natural when it happens to you in the future (when you will be a lot older than I am now!). Just quietly, I'll believe it when I see it (let me throw d
Read more

Confessions of an earl grey addict

-
Image
I have to confess in this public forum that I'm addicted to earl grey tea. I used to like the expensive stuff (Twinings) but because I drink so much of it, over the years I've had to buy the home brand version because I couldn't afford to sustain my habit. On Monday mornings I'd go to playgroup and have a cup of tea.  But one wasn't enough.  I'd have to go back for another. I'd visit a friend and enjoy the first cuppa.  But start to wonder if it too rude to ask for another, an hour into our visit. I don't have milk or sugar with it.  That just wrecks the purity of the experience.  I would branch out sometimes and enjoy Lady Grey or French Earl Grey for a treat.  But for everyday purposes my friend was the 'Earl'. But two weeks ago I went cold turkey.  I just decided that it was time to break the habit.  I have entered the world of herbal teas with all its strange flavours.  Peppermint (toothpaste dissolved in hot water).  Camomile (wee
Read more

Christmas memory creating

-
Image
This is OK I'm sure I've written about this before but every year I struggle with the pressure to be an uber mum and have some kind of Christmas craft decorating the house.  Instead I end up with a leaning Christmas tree that the kids have decorated themselves (certainly not going to make the cut for a Myer catalogue), with lights that drove the husband to distraction to untangle. There's a trend (especially in Christian circles) to create family traditions.  And I'm a total believer.  Good, healthy childhood memories and traditions have been shown to be very significant in developing high levels of security and resilience. But over time the memories/tradition trend seems to have developed into some kind of Pinterest Christmas competition.  No longer is the knitted nativity scene that Aunty Pip bought for us from the Mother's Union stall in 2003 enough.  It needs to be done by me.  And this is how my family will unite, bond and be functional. The problem i
Read more