Friday, February 5, 2010
Two days, no kids, very weird
Even though I've really been looking forward to this time (and this is the first week of the new routine), I'm still getting used to the shift. A few years ago I worked that I needed to plan ahead for this time. I knew that I would find it hard to move into this next stage if I didn't know what I wanted to do with the time. Which is why I started studying and retraining so I had a plan.
It is certainly not a problem of finding things to do with my time. There are more opportunities with church, school, preschool and other community groups than I know what to do with. I also like the idea of working. But I think I needed to have something to do which was just about me. Not about my kids, not about my husband's ministry, not about our church.
Sounds selfish, but it's not an issue of neglecting my family for the sake of my own goals. It's acknowledging that as my kids get older, I don't think it is healthy to be completely defined by them and their lives. Well, personally, it's not healthy for me. I need other things floating around in my brain so that I don't become obsessive and consumed by their lives. So I don't start telling Rowan how to do his job. So I'm not consumed by the "she said, then I said, then they said, then she said" conversations that can start to take over my life.
So this year, I'm going to use my two days, to (hopefully) qualify as a librarian. And the rest of my time will be spent looking after my 3yo daughter, dropping off/picking up the masses from school (more time consuming and exhausting than you might guess) and just generally managing our life at home!
But yesterday I did go to the movies to see George Clooney in "Up in the Air" (a post for another day), on my OWN. Such an introvert's way of celebrating!