Hello Joy? Joy ... are you there? Have I lost you?

-
Wednesday morning I sent this sms to a girlfriend,

"Last night we had a couple over for dinner, 
friends of Rowan's from uni, 
who have only been married for a couple of years.  
I felt so old and cranky and tired in comparison.  
Where has my joy gone?"  

I've been asking myself all week about my question.  I just felt so weary when I was talking to them.  They were so keen and enthusiastic about their life, their marriage, their future.  I guess I felt a bit jealous.  I used to be like that.  Sometimes, I can be like that.  But mostly I'm not.  Mostly I'm just overwhelmed by all the jobs that I need to do.  While I write this I just know that somewhere more mess is being created.  Soon there will be a child that needs to me to do something for them.  

Rowan and I always say that at as long as you keep laughing it is all good.  But I find myself often not laughing.  Just rolling along, getting everything done, falling asleep and waking up for another day of survival.  Exchanging information with Rowan about who has to be where, with what, when ...

I'm not unhappy.  I like my life.  It's a great life.  Rich and full and worthwhile and satisfying.  But perhaps just lacking a bit in the joy department.  Would like some of it back.  Where are you joy?  Quite possibly it's buried under the mountain of unfolded washing ...

Comments

Beck said…
Hey twin... after a couple of big belly laughs with hubby over 24hrs last week I commented that life is all too serious most of the time for us.So yeah - I hear you!Less washing, more laughs. How about we try jumping in the pile of washing before folding it...?
ps The downside of student work is definitely those moments of comparison. Ah to be one of those beautiful young things again!
August 29, 2010 at 7:49 PM
Jenny said…
Thanks Beck - was thinking that a holiday away without the children might help regain the joy ...
August 29, 2010 at 8:09 PM
Catherine said…
Certainly, a week at Solar Springs couldn't hurt.

This couple. Do they have children?? Life becomes more serious when you have little people you are responsible for.

Recipe for instant joy? Singing and dancing. Yes, life CAN be a musical. Why not?
August 29, 2010 at 10:53 PM
Jo said…
I feel a bit the same sometimes Jenny, being responsible for all those little people can be a pretty serious gig sometimes.
My little one was doing something really funny the other day and I laughed till I cried, it freaked the older ones out a bit because they have never seen me laugh like that before!
August 30, 2010 at 12:46 PM
Justin said…
I love the question posed in Gal 4:15, and then moving out from there to search for an answer within the Epistle. God be with you.
September 4, 2010 at 8:18 PM
Anonymous said…
I just had a night away at my church's womens' retreat. It was amazing how refreshing a night of sleep / nil responsibilities was.
Also the theme was Seasons, and it was good to acknowledge that I have been going through a difficult winter (which we defined as the worst season). We are all at different stages as Christian/ couples.
However, no season lasts forever and if you think about the actual weather: summer still has storms and winter can have lovely clear days.
Chez
September 11, 2010 at 9:13 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Confessions of an earl grey addict

-
Image
I have to confess in this public forum that I'm addicted to earl grey tea. I used to like the expensive stuff (Twinings) but because I drink so much of it, over the years I've had to buy the home brand version because I couldn't afford to sustain my habit. On Monday mornings I'd go to playgroup and have a cup of tea.  But one wasn't enough.  I'd have to go back for another. I'd visit a friend and enjoy the first cuppa.  But start to wonder if it too rude to ask for another, an hour into our visit. I don't have milk or sugar with it.  That just wrecks the purity of the experience.  I would branch out sometimes and enjoy Lady Grey or French Earl Grey for a treat.  But for everyday purposes my friend was the 'Earl'. But two weeks ago I went cold turkey.  I just decided that it was time to break the habit.  I have entered the world of herbal teas with all its strange flavours.  Peppermint (toothpaste dissolved in hot water).  Camom...
Read more

Going grey at 40

-
Image
I have written about this before , but after broaching the subject on facebook a few weeks ago I've been thinking a lot about the whole colouring your hair deal.  On facebook I asked when having natural coloured hair was going to become trendy like other old fashioned things like quilting and growing your veges?  I am quite tired of how time consuming colouring my hair is and how expensive it is. A very interesting conversation resulted with a huge variety of opinions.  Many of the women said they would be going natural, but of course they aren't gray now (and are my age) so I don't think that really counts.  Until you ACTUALLY start going seriously gray/white you can't see how it impacts on the way you look.  I think it is different to be almost white (like myself) at age 40 and agreeing in principle to going natural when it happens to you in the future (when you will be a lot older than I am now!). Just quietly, I'll believe it when I see it (let me thr...
Read more

Why I won't home school (if I don't have to)

-
Image
Occasionally I get asked what I think about home schooling.  Let me say from the outset that I'm not against it at all.  I was actually homeschooled for Year 3 because I wasn't coping with the local Indian school and I wasn't old enough for boarding school.  I have lots of friends who do it - some out of necessity (eg. missionary friends in remote places with no options) or out of choice (because their child doesn't cope with the mainstream school system).   So I'm fine with the whole concept. I have great admiration for families that choose to provide that education for their kids.  It is hard work and a significant drain on time and emotional energy (usually for the mum).  I also think that it can be a great gift for children who would otherwise get lost in a conventional educational institution. But why wouldn't I do it?  Partly because I did homeschooling myself and found it quite lonely.  I missed the social interaction of school a...
Read more