Sunday, August 29, 2010

Hello Joy? Joy ... are you there? Have I lost you?

Wednesday morning I sent this sms to a girlfriend,

"Last night we had a couple over for dinner, 
friends of Rowan's from uni, 
who have only been married for a couple of years.  
I felt so old and cranky and tired in comparison.  
Where has my joy gone?"  

I've been asking myself all week about my question.  I just felt so weary when I was talking to them.  They were so keen and enthusiastic about their life, their marriage, their future.  I guess I felt a bit jealous.  I used to be like that.  Sometimes, I can be like that.  But mostly I'm not.  Mostly I'm just overwhelmed by all the jobs that I need to do.  While I write this I just know that somewhere more mess is being created.  Soon there will be a child that needs to me to do something for them.  

Rowan and I always say that at as long as you keep laughing it is all good.  But I find myself often not laughing.  Just rolling along, getting everything done, falling asleep and waking up for another day of survival.  Exchanging information with Rowan about who has to be where, with what, when ...

I'm not unhappy.  I like my life.  It's a great life.  Rich and full and worthwhile and satisfying.  But perhaps just lacking a bit in the joy department.  Would like some of it back.  Where are you joy?  Quite possibly it's buried under the mountain of unfolded washing ...

6 comments:

Beck said...

Hey twin... after a couple of big belly laughs with hubby over 24hrs last week I commented that life is all too serious most of the time for us.So yeah - I hear you!Less washing, more laughs. How about we try jumping in the pile of washing before folding it...?
ps The downside of student work is definitely those moments of comparison. Ah to be one of those beautiful young things again!

Jenny said...

Thanks Beck - was thinking that a holiday away without the children might help regain the joy ...

Catherine said...

Certainly, a week at Solar Springs couldn't hurt.

This couple. Do they have children?? Life becomes more serious when you have little people you are responsible for.

Recipe for instant joy? Singing and dancing. Yes, life CAN be a musical. Why not?

Jo said...

I feel a bit the same sometimes Jenny, being responsible for all those little people can be a pretty serious gig sometimes.
My little one was doing something really funny the other day and I laughed till I cried, it freaked the older ones out a bit because they have never seen me laugh like that before!

Justin said...

I love the question posed in Gal 4:15, and then moving out from there to search for an answer within the Epistle. God be with you.

Anonymous said...

I just had a night away at my church's womens' retreat. It was amazing how refreshing a night of sleep / nil responsibilities was.
Also the theme was Seasons, and it was good to acknowledge that I have been going through a difficult winter (which we defined as the worst season). We are all at different stages as Christian/ couples.
However, no season lasts forever and if you think about the actual weather: summer still has storms and winter can have lovely clear days.
Chez