Tuesday, August 3, 2010

'Life balance' - what does that actually mean?

In the middle of a crazily busy month I keep wondering how I ended up (once again) in this situation.  I knew coming into this term that it was going to be busy but extras have ended up on my plate that I wasn't expecting.

I keep thinking "Am I a people pleaser?  Am I just doing all these things because I want people to like me?".  I don't think I am because I know that I regularly say 'no' and end up disappointing people.

I do feel the disappointment and sometimes my inability to meet everyone's needs can overwhelm me.  So while I have to say 'no' to just survive, I still carry the emotional aftermath of feeling that I've been less than I want to be.

So maybe it's more of an issue of trying to meet my own standards and expectations rather than pleasing others.

I keep reading stuff about how I should use my time according to what God's expectations are.  Not my own standards or the expectations of others.  So theoretically I know that's the answer.

But how do you ACTUALLY work all this out with the everyday stuff?  How do you find a balance between the value of "but you need time for yourself Jenny, so you can be a better mother etc. etc" and "sometimes you need to move out of your comfort zone to serve Jesus"?

Back to cooking for the 20 coming for dinner.  Curry and chocolate meringue on the menu.  Today is definitely an 'out of my comfort zone' day.  However, the moments when I'm pushed the hardest are also some of the most satisfying and worthwhile.

2 comments:

Beck said...

ok... I keep trying to comment on this because it's exactly the battle I've been having this week in my own head. But I have no answer. So just commiserations and SNAP! x beck
ps wish I could have been at your place for dinner... sounds yum

Jenny said...

The dinner was nice - chocolate meringue very nice and fed lots of people easily. And as always - worth the effort.