The Boring Parents

Do you know why parents of teenagers always appear sooo boorrring to their children - it's because we are exhausted.  Go out?  Leave the house?  Attend an event that's just for grown-ups?  Oh - I don't think so.  We are too busy getting them up at the crack of dawn for whatever band/choir/sports training that they need to be at and still going after dark managing their social lives or the great assignment crisis that seems to hit at about 8:23pm each evening. 

I am very stressed out you know Mum - I've only had time to read three novels, chat online with five friends and watch four TV shows - so don't hassle me about getting my homework done earlier.  

We are also worn out because most things that go wrong in our children's lives are apparently OUR fault (it's quite tiring being responsible for every problem in the house):

It's sooo cold today Mum and YOU want me to wear trousers, but I have sport and I'll get hot so I want to wear shorts, but YOU are insisting that I wear trousers and you always make me do the most ridiculous things.

These music scales are too difficult - I'm never going to remember them for the exam and you are making me practice and it's making me very upset.  I can't believe YOU've made them so hard.

I've lost the minuscule and crucial piece of lego and now YOU are not helping me look for it and so it is all your fault.

And all the literature says that it is good for kids if their parents have a strong relationship.  Well, how exactly does that work?  We gently suggested that for one night of the week they could go to bed and read for a little while before bedtime so we could have dinner together on our own. I'm not quite sure that they were picking up on the nuances of how we were enhancing their feeling of security by spending time alone.

You don't care about us.  Just each other.  That's all isn't it?  Just yourselves.  You just want us to go away and get rid of us (well, yes, just a little, but I guess that's not the moment to say that!), so you can be on your own, without us.  It's so unfair and it's all your fault.

But of course - everything else is our fault.


Tasmanian said…
I was offended at 15 when Dad told me that Mum came first, not me. But I'm glad that's how it was.

Trying to imagine what life will be like when my kids are old enough to "stay up". They're all asleep by 7pm right now.

The music scales? I hear you.
Jenny K said…
Oh how I love to read your posts! They are me and my family (I know bad grammar but it's all about me!) The lost school shoes or shirts that didn't get washed - my fault, not handing a note in on time - also my fault... I may have been known to say that I am off duty and all complaints/fault-accusing are now to be directed to dad! They find it amusing but don't realise that I am deadly serious at that point. Oh, and if we dare occasionally go out on a date or, even worse, away for a night on our own - we don't really love them! I think back to those baby days when interrupted sleep was my major concern...!
Deb L said…
It is. It is all my fault. Some days anyway. From the moment breakfast is not made right to the time I say, "Please get out of the bath." ALLL my fault. And that is so very, very tiring to be in charge of everything.
simone r said…
Cool post Jenny.

Yeah. I've cracked down on this lately. Seems really harsh, but I've started shrugging my shoulders when the blaming begins. "Your [homework/lunch/uniform/excursion/schedule/stuff], your problem."
Sandra said…
A friend with older children very helpfully told me about her 'choices' philosophy - if you aren't around when the lunches are being made you have no grounds for complaint- it was your choice. If you didn't come and eat dinner when everyone else did your plate is put away and the leftovers are packaged in the fridge- your choice. If you didn't put the clothes in the dirty clothes basket to be washed before I did the washing that was your choice - you were asked. Etc etc. Very helpful for not always compliant teenage type children.
And when they ring me at work to ask me things and their father is at home I politely point out that I am at work and there is a perfectly capable parent in the house. Goodbye.
Sandra said…
And you and Rowan are much cooler than us.
Karen said…
You need a "like" button on your blog. Excellent stuff as always...

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