The secret life of a pretend housewife: Episode 2

So here's episode 2 - let's see if episode 3 ever appears.  A series is a struggle for me.  I'm not much of a routine person, which is, of course, what this series is actually about!

Episode 2: 'The Visible Dirt Line (VDL)'.  This is all about my haphazard cleaning strategies.  As I was cleaning the bath last week, I realised that I was motivated by (a) the visible line of dirt decorating the bath and (b) we were going to have a guest to stay.  So the dirt line motivated me to clean because I could see it and more importantly someone ELSE was going to see it.  Same goes for the mould in the shower, the footprints all over the bathroom floor and the toothpaste squirted all over the side of the basin.

I also swept the kitchen floor because it was crunchy and I was concerned I might slip and kill myself while swanning around the kitchen in my Ugg boots.

I tend not to preventative clean - it is reactive.  This is probably freaking out all my readers with great cleaning routines.  But I need the motivation of visible dirt and mess to get me cleaning.  Or a house guest or someone coming for a meal.

I spend a lot of time tidying up - so the house isn't always trashed and messy.  Truly, by the time I've picked up the 1000th book and the 25th baby doll, I don't have a lot of energy left for actual cleaning.

I have to admit to my one area of strength though.  I am good at preventative cleans of the toilet otherwise it is almost impossible to get rid of the urinal smell because of my lovely boys.

For so many years I've wanted to have a better cleaning routine.  But I just can't seem to give up other things like hanging out with people for my cleaning.  It's just so dull in comparison.  So I've decided that this is just me.  Why fight it?  We've made it this far.  Stuff gets done (eventually), we don't live in chaos and the toilets get cleaned.  What more do you need?!


Rachael said…
but you have chosen what is best!
Karen said…
I thought I was the only person like this. We only clean when we are having people coming over, or when the dirt is VERY obvious.
I'm like you, by the time I pick up all the toys and books the 2 year old has pulled out (for the hundredth time) and mobilised the boys to get their dirty clothes off the bedroom floor, there's not a lot of energy left to scrub stuff....
Alison said…
"I also swept the kitchen floor because it was crunchy..."

This is possibly my favourite line of blog ever.
Deb L said…
Nobody I know was EVER hospitalized or traumatized by a messy/not very clean house. I'm sure there are such cases out there, I'm just saying it's never come to that amongst my acquaintances. So we all must be doing enough (despite our guilt) for healthy survival. Nuff said.
mattnbec said…
I could have written almost every one of the lines you did. I am getting more structured about things,'s like you're describing my house.

My grandmother used to say "a tidy/clean house is the sign of a wasted life". I'm with her - better things to do with my life.
Karen said…
Reading this was a bit like the time we sat in front of the mirror and compared ourselves. So alike even though we like to think of ourselves as different!

Looking forward to Episode 3...what are the chances?!
Kath said…
The kitchen floor gets crunchy so easily. I love this series!
wide eyed said…
I feel it is my job to build up my children's immunity systems by having a not so clean house.
Jenny said…
@wideeyed - I like your thinking! And I've been very excited that I have a reader from China and now I've worked out why! Am enjoying your blog and your adventures.
One child can create in 10 minutes, 3 hours worth of are two parents supposed to keep up?? My Mother- in -law arrives on Sunday..guess who's de molding the bathroom, and removing 6 months of receipts off the kitchen bench??

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