Friday, October 28, 2011

Kindy orientation

Me as a beginner Mum, many moons ago
On one hand I felt really excited.  She was excited and wore a school uniform she found in the bottom of the uniform drawer.  I felt excited for both of us.  Me as I considered what I can do with a few extra hours a week.

But on the other hand, I was a little bit emotional in the depths of my heart.  What was I feeling sad about?  There's nothing to actually be sad about - this is all good, I tell myself.  She's going to love school.  My kids are growing and developing and I'm getting to be a part of it and see it happen.

But, I felt sad about me.  It's really about me (as per usual).  It's about me leaving a stage of life behind that I've enjoyed but then when I stop and reflect, I've also found super hard.  So what's this about?  Wacky.  I'm guessing it's about me wondering about the next stage of life.  It's about me working out how to be a mum (they still so need me around) but also to be my own person a bit.

So I've decided that I need to think of fun things to look forward to.  I need to do these before my days fill up.  I know they will.  They always do.  I'm going to see friends.  Make my house nice one day a week so that my family know that I love them (don't want to do it everyday - I would go completely crazy if I aimed for that!).  Go to the movies, have a sleep, watch TV.  Have lunch with my husband.

And I'm guessing I'll have about 5 minutes to do all this, by the time someone is always at home sick, the shopping/washing/cleaning/cooking/orthodontist/broken glasses/broken musical instruments list remains endless, the paperwork continues, school assemblies, searching for a high school for No 2 child, shopping for the costume for a dance concert.  You know how it goes!

I get asked repeatedly 'what I am going to do with myself?'.  My answer is 'have a nervous breakdown, I haven't had any time until now'.  I shouldn't be flippant, but I do wonder what the next year will bring.

4 comments:

Deb L said...

We had our orientation for #2 child yesterday. He was crying in the morning because he didn't want to go (mother's heart strings sorely tugged) but was happy once he was there. I have one more to go. But already, the feeling that life is changing and moving on...

JMS said...

I try to have one day a week to clean and also try to have lunch with D once a week if it suits his schedule, especially if he is out a number of nights during the week. I also walk everyday without fail, after drop off. If I don't do this, I know I will never exercise at any other point in the day. I had a dream of the clean house, a well sorted filing cabinet etc but it never evetuated, however I have enjoyed a "whine free" coffee with a number of friends!

Pip said...

Suprised myself by feeling particularly sad this week when number 3 tried on her uniform for next year - will only be two days/week but the uniform makes it all so official.

Sandra said...

it's like having a bigger house- you soon fill it up. A few weeks into the year you'll be wondering why you dont have enough time.

I tried to feel emotional, just a little bit, when my youngest started school. I even escorted her to the door of the classroom, at which point she turned around and said to me 'Good-bye, you can go now'.