Kindy orientation

-
Me as a beginner Mum, many moons ago
On one hand I felt really excited.  She was excited and wore a school uniform she found in the bottom of the uniform drawer.  I felt excited for both of us.  Me as I considered what I can do with a few extra hours a week.

But on the other hand, I was a little bit emotional in the depths of my heart.  What was I feeling sad about?  There's nothing to actually be sad about - this is all good, I tell myself.  She's going to love school.  My kids are growing and developing and I'm getting to be a part of it and see it happen.

But, I felt sad about me.  It's really about me (as per usual).  It's about me leaving a stage of life behind that I've enjoyed but then when I stop and reflect, I've also found super hard.  So what's this about?  Wacky.  I'm guessing it's about me wondering about the next stage of life.  It's about me working out how to be a mum (they still so need me around) but also to be my own person a bit.

So I've decided that I need to think of fun things to look forward to.  I need to do these before my days fill up.  I know they will.  They always do.  I'm going to see friends.  Make my house nice one day a week so that my family know that I love them (don't want to do it everyday - I would go completely crazy if I aimed for that!).  Go to the movies, have a sleep, watch TV.  Have lunch with my husband.

And I'm guessing I'll have about 5 minutes to do all this, by the time someone is always at home sick, the shopping/washing/cleaning/cooking/orthodontist/broken glasses/broken musical instruments list remains endless, the paperwork continues, school assemblies, searching for a high school for No 2 child, shopping for the costume for a dance concert.  You know how it goes!

I get asked repeatedly 'what I am going to do with myself?'.  My answer is 'have a nervous breakdown, I haven't had any time until now'.  I shouldn't be flippant, but I do wonder what the next year will bring.

Comments

Deb said…
We had our orientation for #2 child yesterday. He was crying in the morning because he didn't want to go (mother's heart strings sorely tugged) but was happy once he was there. I have one more to go. But already, the feeling that life is changing and moving on...
October 29, 2011 at 11:26 AM
JMS said…
I try to have one day a week to clean and also try to have lunch with D once a week if it suits his schedule, especially if he is out a number of nights during the week. I also walk everyday without fail, after drop off. If I don't do this, I know I will never exercise at any other point in the day. I had a dream of the clean house, a well sorted filing cabinet etc but it never evetuated, however I have enjoyed a "whine free" coffee with a number of friends!
October 29, 2011 at 3:36 PM
Pip said…
Suprised myself by feeling particularly sad this week when number 3 tried on her uniform for next year - will only be two days/week but the uniform makes it all so official.
October 30, 2011 at 12:42 AM
Sandra said…
it's like having a bigger house- you soon fill it up. A few weeks into the year you'll be wondering why you dont have enough time.

I tried to feel emotional, just a little bit, when my youngest started school. I even escorted her to the door of the classroom, at which point she turned around and said to me 'Good-bye, you can go now'.
October 30, 2011 at 9:10 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Going grey at 40

-
Image
I have written about this before , but after broaching the subject on facebook a few weeks ago I've been thinking a lot about the whole colouring your hair deal.  On facebook I asked when having natural coloured hair was going to become trendy like other old fashioned things like quilting and growing your veges?  I am quite tired of how time consuming colouring my hair is and how expensive it is. A very interesting conversation resulted with a huge variety of opinions.  Many of the women said they would be going natural, but of course they aren't gray now (and are my age) so I don't think that really counts.  Until you ACTUALLY start going seriously gray/white you can't see how it impacts on the way you look.  I think it is different to be almost white (like myself) at age 40 and agreeing in principle to going natural when it happens to you in the future (when you will be a lot older than I am now!). Just quietly, I'll believe it when I see it (let me throw d
Read more

Confessions of an earl grey addict

-
Image
I have to confess in this public forum that I'm addicted to earl grey tea. I used to like the expensive stuff (Twinings) but because I drink so much of it, over the years I've had to buy the home brand version because I couldn't afford to sustain my habit. On Monday mornings I'd go to playgroup and have a cup of tea.  But one wasn't enough.  I'd have to go back for another. I'd visit a friend and enjoy the first cuppa.  But start to wonder if it too rude to ask for another, an hour into our visit. I don't have milk or sugar with it.  That just wrecks the purity of the experience.  I would branch out sometimes and enjoy Lady Grey or French Earl Grey for a treat.  But for everyday purposes my friend was the 'Earl'. But two weeks ago I went cold turkey.  I just decided that it was time to break the habit.  I have entered the world of herbal teas with all its strange flavours.  Peppermint (toothpaste dissolved in hot water).  Camomile (wee
Read more

Christmas memory creating

-
Image
This is OK I'm sure I've written about this before but every year I struggle with the pressure to be an uber mum and have some kind of Christmas craft decorating the house.  Instead I end up with a leaning Christmas tree that the kids have decorated themselves (certainly not going to make the cut for a Myer catalogue), with lights that drove the husband to distraction to untangle. There's a trend (especially in Christian circles) to create family traditions.  And I'm a total believer.  Good, healthy childhood memories and traditions have been shown to be very significant in developing high levels of security and resilience. But over time the memories/tradition trend seems to have developed into some kind of Pinterest Christmas competition.  No longer is the knitted nativity scene that Aunty Pip bought for us from the Mother's Union stall in 2003 enough.  It needs to be done by me.  And this is how my family will unite, bond and be functional. The problem i
Read more