|Me as a beginner Mum, many moons ago|
But on the other hand, I was a little bit emotional in the depths of my heart. What was I feeling sad about? There's nothing to actually be sad about - this is all good, I tell myself. She's going to love school. My kids are growing and developing and I'm getting to be a part of it and see it happen.
But, I felt sad about me. It's really about me (as per usual). It's about me leaving a stage of life behind that I've enjoyed but then when I stop and reflect, I've also found super hard. So what's this about? Wacky. I'm guessing it's about me wondering about the next stage of life. It's about me working out how to be a mum (they still so need me around) but also to be my own person a bit.
So I've decided that I need to think of fun things to look forward to. I need to do these before my days fill up. I know they will. They always do. I'm going to see friends. Make my house nice one day a week so that my family know that I love them (don't want to do it everyday - I would go completely crazy if I aimed for that!). Go to the movies, have a sleep, watch TV. Have lunch with my husband.
And I'm guessing I'll have about 5 minutes to do all this, by the time someone is always at home sick, the shopping/washing/cleaning/cooking/orthodontist/broken glasses/broken musical instruments list remains endless, the paperwork continues, school assemblies, searching for a high school for No 2 child, shopping for the costume for a dance concert. You know how it goes!
I get asked repeatedly 'what I am going to do with myself?'. My answer is 'have a nervous breakdown, I haven't had any time until now'. I shouldn't be flippant, but I do wonder what the next year will bring.