Things that (apparently) only I, and I alone, can do
1. Pick up items and look under them and find ______ (lost sock, lost assignment, lost lego piece etc, etc)
2. Turn lights off - the bedside lamp, the desk lamp, the main light (all blazing away at the same time), the bathroom light (at 9:03 am), the outside light (at 9:04 am)
3. Pick up slugs and dead cockroaches that can never just lie there and be avoided until I get out of bed. They must be dealt with - NOW.
4. Put the toilet seat down and flush it (probably don't even need to say this - you all know it)
5. Pick up the one, lonely piece of cutlery that somehow can never quite make it's way to the sink after dinner. Always one - just sitting there. Waiting for me (and only me) to retrieve it.
6. Empty out the school bag, right to the very bottom, so that all the soggy rotten fruit mess that is mixed in with the old school notes/party invites (which I blissfully never found out about) gets cleaned out. Eww...
7. Close drawers on the chest of drawers, linen cupboard doors, cutlery drawer, pantry door, toy cupboard doors, bathroom vanity drawer, dishwasher door - in my house apparently the doors/drawers are there are to be opened, but for some reason to NOT be closed. They don't want to wear themselves out, the poor darlings.
8. Put used toilet rolls in the bin (they change the toilet paper- so can't complain really) - they are everywhere.
9. Only I can pick up the shoes, over and over and over and over and over again. And truly, how can one family have sooo many pairs of shoes?
10. And only I can return all the books to the bookshelf. That can be found throughout the house. From the front door to the back door (and beyond - and odds on it will be on a night when it will rain and it will involve a library book). Surely there should only be 7 books strewn around (one person = one book). Ah ha, no way. You might start with Harry Potter in the playroom after school but for your post dinner read you might like a touch of Clarice Bean, topped off by a bit of Malory Towers in the bathroom before bed.