Monday, April 23, 2012

Mother guilt shocker

I had a bit of nasty jolt back to the reality of the working mother last night.  My 5 year old was in floods of tears at the prospect of me going back to work today (yes, sadly, the holidays are over - but gee, they were great).  I already feel permanently guilty about working and enjoyed being around for the kids in the holidays.  However, I had reached the point where I was looking forward to going back to work to do my actual job (this I do enjoy), but the guilt I was not looking forward to.  So when your youngest child cries that she only wants Mummy to pick her up from school - ouch - tough.  Needless to say, I didn't sleep so well last night.

Anyway, she had a fine day in the end.  My parents were looking after them (their school hadn't started yet) and she learnt to ride a bike without training wheels - goodness me, what a fabulous outcome.  And I spent time this evening typing up a chart of little pictures to show her who is taking her where and when and on what days.  She thought this was very special - it is beside her bed.

It has got me thinking though.  What do I need to ditch off the ailing ship so that I can keep working?  I really need to be available to spend as much time with her as possible when I'm at home.  I think it's the only way she's going to cope at the moment.  It's not a forever thing - just what I need to do at the moment.

And thankfully work was great.  I felt good to be back.  I do enjoy what I'm doing.  If work had been bad I suspect I wouldn't have been feeling so chipper about the whole deal.

No comments: