"They are always leaving me out!!"

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This has been a common refrain from my younger two over the school holidays.  Their biggest fear in life seems to be being left out or not being able to keep up.  I have two very determined little people fighting for their spot in our family.  Fighting with each other and fighting with their siblings to find their place.

A bit wearing ... and a few too many to count tears have been shed.

Are kids who are homeschooled nice to each other?  I guess they must get used to each other.  But for a few days this week at my house, school has felt like a wonderful place simply because they will not be with each other for 6 hours of the day.

I remember talking to a school dad who had two kids, five years apart.  He was shocked when I told him my kids fight all the time.  I don't what kind of shop he thought I was running, but it certainly isn't one of endless love and harmony.

Hoping for excellent skills of relating and conflict resolution (or perhaps avoidance after the trauma of our family) to come out the other end.

Well, c'mon people.  You have to have HOPE ;)

Comments

Tasmanian said…
My sisters were 18, 16 and 15 when I was born. I get along with them all really well... better than they get along with each other ;) Apparently they got on each others' nerves growing up.
Now my kids irritate each other most days, and I find it really appalling, but apparently it is normal... I just didn't experience it as a child or a sibling!
January 22, 2013 at 9:07 PM
justatraindriver said…
Ah Jenny you have articulated my elder two (#3 at 8 weeks misses out...for now!). I didn't know until these holidays that two little girls could be both inseparable and murderous to each other at the same time!
January 23, 2013 at 7:53 AM
simone r said…
The best way to stop the kids bickering is to give each of them their favourite electronic device and sit them at least a few meters away from eachother. Every few hours bring them food and drink and suggest they go to the toilet.

Pull them off their devices 5 minutes before bedtime. Pass them their toothbrushes (already with toothpaste on them) and point them in the direction of the bathroom. Some time during the teethbrushing, the kids will de-zombify and it won't be pleasant. But it's only 5 minutes before bedtime so you can endure it.

That's my suggestion.

I'm going to work.
January 23, 2013 at 9:06 AM
Karen said…
Oh, yeah. The fights have been on here all week since the big guys came home from their grandparents. Their timing isn't great because I am trying to do some preparation for work that also starts for me when school goes back. So I am looking forward to school going back for the same reason. Although my two big kids are going to be in the same class this year so I am starting to wonder if they will be in eachother's pockets just a little bit too much?

One of them came up with the solution of "pretending [the other one] doesn't exist" when they are getting on each other's nerves. That would be good if he could actually follow it through!
January 23, 2013 at 2:47 PM
Jenny said…
It is reassuring I am not ALONE!!
January 23, 2013 at 9:40 PM
One for a wish.. said…
Out of four kids, I have two that are 16 months apart, who everyone assured me 'would be great mates". Yeh right. Had to hand one over to the grandparents for a week because I had, had enough. The peace was amazing....
Like you I try to reassure myself it is training them in assertiveness and conflict resolution.
January 23, 2013 at 10:08 PM
Pip said…
I hear you. First two leaving the youngest out or eldest and middle fighting to see who can play with the youngest to leave the other deliberately out. Youngest now not so much of a baby (at 5) and can hold her own in the fighting, yelling, and truth bending!!!
January 24, 2013 at 11:43 PM
Julia said…
ok so having more than 2 leads to too much fighting? I'm trying to decide on whether to have another one (my current two are 3 and 1)...would rather avoid the constant refereeing if at all possible
January 27, 2013 at 6:39 PM
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