Monday, July 28, 2014
My brainfog (and I'm not even the one with the chronic fatigue!)
This morning we clean forgot that #4 child needed to be at band at 7:15am. We've only been taking a child to this band for, I don't know, like SIX years!
I've forgotten a lot of things recently. On Friday I forgot that I actually had one child at school (the primary kids were all at home for most of last week sick) and had to rush down to school and pick him up. Why is my brain malfunctioning on basic routine-type stuff?
I was pondering what was taking up my brain space instead. This morning at 7:15am I was thinking about what time we needed to get J up so she could be ready in time for her half day at school. I was thinking about whether or not she'd actually be well enough to get there. I was thinking about what I might need to do to push her to get up and dressed. I was thinking about how I'd cope if she started crying and complaining that she felt too tired (she always feels too tired). I was thinking about what I could say that was going to help her get over the hump.
I was also thinking about my day. That I'd need to take some kids to school at 9. Come home and get the sick one ready for school at 10. Then go back and get her at 12:30. Then go back at 3 to get the others. Then the normal Monday afternoon run, taking one child to her orchestra at 4, followed by picking up another child from kid's club at 5:30, and then a trombone lesson at 6.
I truly now just want these kinds of days to go away. I used to oversee the most mad schedule. Now I just want to get everyone to school, get myself to work, attend the necessary medical appointments and make dinner appear on the table. Washing? Well, getting it hung out is a total bonus. The shopping? Gold! Clean bathroom? Major special treat. Going to Medicare to claim rebates? Total heaven.
The icing on the cake was the 13 year old dropping her laptop on the 10 year old's foot which resulted in a lot of crying 15 minutes before we had to go to school (the first time). Might be broken. Brain suddenly has to add in the possibility of a trip to the hospital. Normally that wouldn't be so bad. But since our new 'normal' is days full of uncertainty and the logistics of managing the unpredictable, add anything else to the 'fun' and the system starts to malfunction.
For a normally pretty functional and together kind of person, this falling apart business is a shock. But once again, humbling and eye-opening. Life is messy. Life changes you. I hope it makes me a more compassionate person to those who, like me, can't quite get their act together.
And if you, like me, can't quite get it together, you're not alone. Let's muddle along together through this crazy mess of a life. Hey - I think we're doing OK - all things considering!