Wednesday, September 28, 2011

The Secret life of a pretend housewife: Finale

All my dirty secrets are aired.  Here we at the finale.  It's been a long hard road of consistent blogging on a topic (although, not surprisingly, here I am a few days late).  A tough three weeks...

Just a few thoughts.  Part of why I wrote these posts is because there is a tendency out there to celebrate the women who are routine type people.  They are the women who do caring for their families 'properly'.  They are the women on the TV ads for cleaning products.  Not a bit of clutter, dirt, unwashed dishes in sight.  I have friends who are great at housekeeping.  I envy those women.  I want to be more organised, have more predictable systems and routines.  I've tried many times to be that person.  But it is hard, and frankly, I'm just not great at it.

So where am I now?  As always, coming to terms with the limitations of being 'me'.  I'll always have to work hard at keeping on top of housework.  I like having a clean house, but the process of housekeeping doesn't energise me.  So mostly anything else is fascinatingly appealing.  But I plug away at it, because I love my family.  I want them to have home that is nice to live in, and a space that they can enjoy sharing together.  I do so that we can share our home with others, although I still feel worried about my moderate standards when we have visitors.

Maybe my dazzling repartee will distract them from the crunchy floor!  Because talking, now, that's something I can do.

3 comments:

Cath said...

Hi Jenny,
I've just caught up on your 'Pretend Housewife' posts.
Can I just say how excellent they are - mostly because I feel that you have described me perfectly. I am always envious of those women who are don't lose their shopping lists (or even consistently make them, and then even bother to get them out once they are at the supermarket!), who stick to a plan for more than a few weeks at a time, and who clean 'preventatively', as you say. I have a friend whose computer beeps at her when it is the day and time to mop the floor. I find that so SO alien to my experience that I am tempted to be very ungracious about it, which is wrong, because we are just all different, aren't we?
But then I find I am always fighting my own tendencies, really really wanting to BE an organised listy sort of person, but never being able to achieve it. So I took comfort and encouragement from these excellent words of yours: "For so many years I've wanted to have a better cleaning routine. But I just can't seem to give up other things like hanging out with people for my cleaning. It's just so dull in comparison. So I've decided that this is just me. Why fight it? We've made it this far. Stuff gets done (eventually), we don't live in chaos and the toilets get cleaned. What more do you need?!"

Amen sister!

Sandra said...

and then there are the women whose toddlers are toilet trained by 18 months, whose children do their homework without nagging and whose teenagers are conflict free and have spotless rooms.
There are so many ways to feel inadequate as a wife and mother.

Deb L said...

I've loved this series. I'll miss it.