Apologies for the grumpiness from Wednesday but so pleased you could all share in my little 'moment'!
So then, if you want to feel old ...
Well, yes, I did feel quite elderly but it's all relative in that context. The president of the student group is a postgraduate doing a PhD and it was interesting to see how the younger students perceived him as an elder statesman (which in that context I guess he is in some ways).
I actually had a very relaxing three days. I went to the main sessions and got to hear Rowan give most of his talks. The topic was on the church and they were helpful talks - much emphasis on thinking about our local church as a valuable and significant place in God's plans. And not just weak and small which is often how we feel in our little local church. I don't get to hear Rowan preach much - different to when he worked for a church and I heard him all the time. I did discover though that I'm quite introverted these days. I couldn't sustain conversation after conversation without some downtime.
It's tempting sometimes to look at people who are younger and feel envious. Feel envious of their youthfulness and all the opportunities of life that still lie ahead. But after being there for a few days and just watching from the sidelines it reminded me of all that is good about getting older.
I don't have the angst of wondering what I'm going to do with my life. I'm actually doing my life. I'm in a happy, stable marriage that I'm so thankful for. I didn't have to spend the conference keeping an eye on what the boy I liked was up to - while trying to look indifferent at the same time! I'm much more comfortable with myself and not paralysed with a desire to fit in all the time. I don't necessarily love all my weaknesses but I'm more accepting of my limitations (and at least I actually know what my strengths and weaknesses are because I'm pretty sure I was just overwhelmed by my weaknesses as a 19yo - I had shocking self esteem as a uni student).
My favourite moment from the conference was when I was in the queue to get dessert and a first year student says "Oh, you're Rowan's wife? O wow - wow - that's so amazing. I mean, wow. What is it like to be married to him? Wow I can't believe I'm getting my ice-cream with you." I tried to talk to her to reassure her that I wasn't an alien but she was too stunned to finish the conversation.
My brush with celebrity (LOL).