waking up worrying about all the different things that needed to get done.
One morning I was hurling yet another load of washing into the giant washing machine and thinking about that passage in Philippians 4:6-9. "Do not be anxious about anything, but by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus". As I reflected on this passage, I wondered if God really did get how busy my life is (I know - weak thinking, but there it is). I mean - is it actually realistic to expect that I should be anxiety-free, full of transcending peace? Is that possible in the midst of my craziness?
And what about that passage in Matthew 6 which speaks of not worrying - God knows our needs and will provide for them. So why am I still feeling anxious?
God promises to meet my needs so I don't need to feel worried about what I will eat or what clothes I will wear or where I'll live. Wait on - HOLD ON.... (I say to myself).
Let's stop and think about what's keeping me up at night. Would that be worrying about my next meal? Or whether I have warm clothes? Or where I'll sleep tonight? Um ... well, no.
What am I worrying about? How to fit in multiple music lessons, with work, Japanese lessons, band rehearsals, housework, shopping, cooking, doctor's appointments, dance classes, home readers, mathletics, parent-teacher interviews, uni work. Does any of that sound like basic need type worries?
Embarrassingly my anxiety was generated by what's known in Twitter as a '#firstworldproblem'. Seriously, I do feel a bit silly, but it's so insidious and so easy to slip into thinking all those things really, really matter.
It's given me perspective, even though I didn't sleep for worry on Wednesday night. But it has helped. God's going to look after me, but I suspect he's going to love and care for me by showing me what's really worth worrying about, instead of worrying about the things that come from the privileges of my amazing, rich and truly blessed life.